In the midst of the battles over Proposition 8, California’s ban on same sex marriages, all attention is centered on the state Supreme Court, which has up to June 5 to make its decision. But since the November 2008 election during which voters approved the ban, the political tumult has had one unintended benefit: Some lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered groups laboring in obscurity in the communities of Southern California finally received the prominence they had strained for years to achieve.
“We had lots of loyal volunteers,” said Greg Matsunami, a South LA resident and a worker on the Equality for All campaign against Proposition 8 last fall. “But we also had people, friends of mine, [who] were sitting by the sidelines until the day after when everybody was up in arms, people were protesting all over the city, like honestly where were you? And I think that was a common sentiment among those of us who had invested a lot to get the proposition to go down in defeat. So I think that now that people are engaged it’s even better, I think we need to figure how to harness that groundswell.”
Even in a melting pot of a city like Los Angeles, alternative lifestyles still draw a fair amount of opposition, political and otherwise. But last fall’s referendum on Proposition 8 – initially championed by those for same sex marriage – finally helped some Asian LGBT groups in Southern California including Harold Kameya, one of the founders of the Los Angeles Asian-Pacific Islander branch of PFLAG (Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians and Gays). For his group, Proposition 8 meant gaining five new parents to their organization and more awareness from their community.
“At the parade on January 31, we met a new Chinese mother and her daughter’s Caucasian partner. Her daughter was working, but the mother felt compelled to participate,” said Harold Kameya. “Another mother, her 5-year-old son and husband marched also for the first time.”
There is only one Asian-Pacific Islander branch of PFLAG that is meant to serve all of Southern California, according to Ellen Kameya, the other co-founder of the branch.
“If you are a white person, white gay or lesbian person, your parents can go to any of the PFLAG States,” said Ellen Kameya, explaining that there are PFLAG organizations all over America but only in certain states. “But the Asian people do not have a chapter,” said Ellen.
Ellen and Harold Kameya live in their Grenada Hills home, which now has an additional room just for their grandchildren. For the past 20 years, the couple has been speaking out on gay issues after they discovered that their own daughter Valerie was lesbian. That’s when they decided to create an Asian branch of the PFLAG organization.
After the couple created the branch, they only received gay and lesbian individuals but failed to receive any parents. They decided to rent a room in the Gay and Lesbian center in Hollywood and advertised their group as “culturally sensitive,” but they still failed to receive parents. Instead, Ellen received home visits from those who required translators and she received calls from all over the place as hers was the only number listed in the Asian chapter of the PFLAG organization. Although Ellen was reaching out to callers from all over Los Angeles it was still difficult at times to get parents to open up.
“I’ve had several people call and they say to me I know you have an Asian name, but are you Asian?” said Ellen, who emphasized that Asians will only share their pain with other Asians.
While Jeff Loh, a member of another Asian LGBT group, may agree that the Asian culture makes it difficult for LGBT Asians to come out of the closet, he does not think that any culture should be branded as the most difficult to come out in. The African-American community, for example, has long documented the high rate of HIV cases among men who are married or single men who are hetereosexual, the stigma of homosexuality or bisexuality so overpowering that few are willing to acknowledge their sexual orientation publicly.
“For Hispanics it’s the same story,” said Loh. “Exactly the same kinds of mothers, maybe the setting is different and maybe for the same reasons it’s the same—it is difficult.”<
Galvanzing effect of Prop 8
Part of the Jan. 31 Chinese New Year Parade was sponsored by the organization Asian-Pacific Islander Equality, a section of the parade that had many more new faces, says Harold Kameya largely due to the outrage over Prop 8. “From 70 marchers last year, we had about 200 this year,” said Kameya.
The Asian LGBT community consists of a handful of organizations such as the API-PFLAG, the Long Yang Club, the Gay Asian Pacific Support Network and Satrang, to name a few. Some say it is difficult to get Asian membership, others say their organizations are barely building up and all say that it mostly has to do with the Asian culture. But with the recent Proposition 8 arguments before the Supreme Court, homosexuality is in the air and is slowly bringing Asian families out of the closet as an Asian group was even created specifically against Proposition 8.
API Equality-LA: Asians and Pacific Islanders for Marriage Equality, is a group that was determined to get voters to say no to Proposition 8, according to a survey conducted by the Asian Pacific American Legal Center. Asian voters mirrored other racial and ethnic groups in that a yes or no vote depended mostly on age, English proficiency and religiosity, according to a survey conducted by the Asian Pacific American Legal Center.
“By ethnic groups, there were small differences between Yes/No votes for Asian Indian (slight majority of No voters) and Filipino and Vietnamese American voters (small majority of Yes voters),” read the survey. “The major difference in pattern is among Korean American voters, with Korean American significantly more likely to support Prop 8 by a wide margin.”
“The cat is out of the bag,” said Loh, referring to homosexuality in the Asian culture. “I know my father knows that I’m gay, but he just tries to pretend not to know and tries not to rock the boat.”
Loh and his partner are members of the Long Yang Club, named for a historical Chinese homosexual. Loh said that there is no such word for homosexuality in Chinese and until recently it was translated to mean same love. The club focuses on being a social atmosphere for the Asian LGBT community in Los Angeles. However, Loh said the club has struggled with membership as many of its members are scattered throughout Los Angeles.
“The goal is to meet people socializing, and in Los Angeles it is quite difficult because areas are so far apart and because people live all the way up in the Valley, Hollywood, down here in the South Bay, so getting people together is a bit difficult, so we always have to try to rotate the place, the venue,” said Loh.
A ‘surrogate’ family
Loh said since he does not talk about his sexuality with his father, the club also acts as his surrogate family.
“The moment your sibling is married they have their own life, their own family and you don’t have that close connection anymore,” said Loh of his siblings, adding that his siblings’ traditional families brings him closer to members in the club. “We have more in common because we don’t feel that we are alone.”
Satrang is an organization that serves the South Asian LGBT community in Southern California, and according to this organization, there are various reasons why Asian families and the LGBT communities find it difficult to come out.
“We see in the U.S. how queer people of color from immigrant communities from all over the world remain closeted, break off from their families, are cut off from their families, marry into heterosexual relationships, or commit suicide because they are not accepted by their families or the community at large,” said D’Lo, a former board member of the adhoc advisory board. He currently teaches writing workshops to the Satrang community.
Embracing new sensibilities
Satrang’s recent internal needs assessment report found that South Asians were most open about their sexual identity with friends. Next in line were health care providers, then immediate family, then co-workers or classmates, then extended family and last in line was their ethnic, religious or spiritual community.
D’Lo said this was mostly because the Asian culture’s attitude toward homosexuality where they “have mildy known and ‘put up with’ homosexuality back on the motherland,” said D’Lo.
This is a sentiment Ellen Kameya shares, as she decided to change churches when her daughter came out in order to be surrounded by an accepting environment.
“It was a really hard time for us because we had nobody to talk to and in an Asian church everything is so fine, every week everything is so fine, nobody has any problems,” said Kameya. “We had to leave and we looked around to find a church that we would feel that we could belong.”
But ironically the same sex marriage ban has been lifting the veil for Asian families, and sometimes not in the way that is expected, according to Loh.
“Because of proposition 8 most of them (Asian community) were saying that, ‘oh you are getting married so you can come over legally,’” said Loh. “But it’s not spoken in the open yet.”
Loh said that he and his partner would benefit from Proposition 8 as they have to file their taxes three times to accommodate various laws. Loh said he first has to file his taxes as a single person, then as though he is in a domestic partnership, according to California law, and then a separate tax return for the Federal government since it does not recognize domestic partnerships.
The Kameyas are using the recent Proposition 8 proceedings to reach out to others in their Asian community. Their API-PFLAG recently set up a scholarship prize for an essay contest at a press conference held on March 26 at the Asian Pacific American Legal Center of Southern California.
The theme, “Think, Write, Win: Choose Love” is based on Proposition 8 and reads: “From the perspective of Asian Pacific Americans, why should marriage equality be considered a fundamental civil right? You may use examples from Asian Pacific American legal history or culture to form your argument.”
Harold Kameya said the essay could be written in Chinese, Korean or English and the prizes are up to $5,000 from the National PFLAG organization, to be given the best essays. At the press conference prominent Asian political and organization leaders were present to discuss Proposition 8 and help launch the essay contest. Loren Javier, a Western Regional Director for Lambda Legal, one of the organizations involved in the Proposition 8 lawsuits was present.
“The California Supreme Court has to rule within 90 days of March 5 and so right now we are waiting and it can happen at any time. As I said it could happen tomorrow, it could happen in May, it could happen by June 5,” said Javier. “Right now we are weighing the legal options as we move forward but it’s a waiting game as of this point.”
As California waits for that Supreme Court decision, the Kameyas and the other LGBT organizations look at the writing contest as their one tangible sign that their sensibilities about lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered communities will never be the same.
“I think to be able to engage these students and get them to talk amongst themselves, amongst their families is a really good avenue for broadening understanding and hopefully for gaining support for the issue over time,” said Matsunami, who attended the press conference.
The essay is open to students who are residents of LA and Orange Counties and can be submitted to [email protected] by April 24. The winner of the contest will be announced on May 15 at the Asian Pacific American Legal Center.
